


Dean Angst Drabble

by castielsupport



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 12:06:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8979031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielsupport/pseuds/castielsupport
Summary: A Dean x Reader angst that I wrote and HATE MYSELF FOR





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is edited but may still have typos! I apologize if there are any

You sat in your car outside the busy bar listening to the music vibrating against the windows, begging to enter the small vehicle. The alcohol in your system onlt made the music fuzzy and louder than it really was. Not to mention how much it destracted you from your thoughts. You couldn't stand to think about him right now, but he was all that your mind would allow you to think of. His eye-catching smile and that beautiful skin was running through your mind like it was in a marathon, You couldn't take it. With a groan your hand found the door handle and forced open your car door just long enough for you to dump your drink onto the cold and damp asphalt. You hardly noticed you had slammed the door shut before you threw yourself back into your seat, arms crossed over your chest like a child. Your brows furrowed and you gave a nod, both hands grabbing at the wheel.  
You were going to go see him.

Seeing the bunker made your stomach turn and twist into knots of anger. It had been a few weeks since you had been around this place. Or around him. As quickly as you could open the door you were out and feeling the cold air brushing across your skin. Chills covered your skin and you slammed the door shut, marching your way towards the bunker's familiar entrance. You had only walked through here with the Winchesters a million times by now. It was 1:30 a.m but you definitely didn't hesitate to make a ruckus. The heavy door pushed out before you and your shoes hit the metal beneath you. You could see that the majority of the bunker was dim but the lights leding off towards the kitchen seemed to be a promising path. Your stomping continued through the quiet halls until you had reached the kitchen.   
Anger pooled your stomach when you saw him. Beer in hand, he ironed his burgundy button up. His back was towards you and you were almost grateful for that. You didn't want to see his face. He made repetitive glances to his laptop that was playing 'The Three Stooges' originals. His gruff laughter filled the small room and your heart nearly burst out of your chest. He had barely rested the iron on the board before your hand made contact with his back, smacking it hard.

Dean spun around, hand raised and ready to attack. After seeing it was you, he still looked that way. "Who let you in here? You can't just come around here when ever you want." His emerald green eyes scanned you and the familar smell of alcohol radiated off you and your breath. "Great." He groaned, coming to the conclusion you were grazing drunk. You narrowed your eyes and looked him over. "Great? I come down here to talk to you and all I get is 'Great'?" You mocked his tone and stepped towards him, crossing your arms. You let you a scoff followed by a very dissatisfied chuckle. Dean set his beer on the counter and crossed his own arms, shaking his head. "I'd prefer you be sober when we do this." Your blood felt like it was boiling inside of you, your heart was pounding like a drum. You couldn't believe him. "Really? /Seriously/? What, So you can put it off and say you'd prefer it if I'm drunk when we do it? When does it work for you, Dean?" Your voice was raising and his glare was deepening. "Y/N." Hearing him say your name was pure poison; It was venom sinking into your bloodstream. You reached out and grabbed at his shirt, fists pounding into his chest. "You..Are a /dick/.." The male just disregarded your words and grabbed your wrists. "Y/N, Enough. You're drunk." In an attempt to breakfree you shook your arms but you knew, even now he was much stronger than you. His grip tightened and he pulled you towards him, leaning into your face. "Enough." He growled. His voice almost micked the tones it carried on those nights you spents alone together. His scruffy face in your neck and your fingers in his hair. Skin on skin and lust in the air. Your eyes searched his face and the tense and locked up feeling in your wrists faded. You knew you couldn't get away so trying was futile. A sigh slid past his lips and his bulky hands released your wrists, both sets of hands falling back to their designated sides. "Come on." Dean brushed past you and walked out the kitchen door way. "I'm going to drive you home."   
The last thing you wanted was him to be nice. It only made it harder to be angry at him and not want him back. "No you're not." You protest, hands resting on your hips for lack of better placement at the moment. You could tell he had rolled his eyes and shook his head. His lips pursed and you heard his heavy boots clunk back down the hall to hold him back in the doorway. "Yes I am. Now let's go."  
You turned up your nose and crossed your arms. A faint grunt fell from your lips and Dean's fingers pinched the bridge of his nose and a defeated groan was released from his mouth. "Listen...You showed up at my place at near two a.m., drunk, and now you won't leave. That's just not working for me, so either let me take you home or i'm calling you a cab up the road, okay? I don't want to do this with you right now."  
"I'm not letting /you/ take me anywhere." You were sure the way that you had pointed your finger at him and gave him your harshest tone would work, but you still ended up in the passenger seat with him driving your car. 

It was cold and rainy.  
The city lights shining over the drops and drizzles on the windshield casted dark and blotchy shadows mimicking freckles over Dean's already existing ones. You didn't want to keep your eyes on him though. Your fingers entertained themselves by playing with the hem of your shirt and your eyes focused on your own raindrop freckles dancing on your skin. It felt like when you have to sit next to a stranger on the bus. It didn't even feel like you knew him. You and Dean had always been close, even before you two had a real relationship, Which really made it all feel worse. Your mind was racing and all you wanted was to be out of the car. Maybe you could jusp out at a red light. Get out and run home. He'd bring your car to the house, right?  
"Things didn't end the way I wanted them too either." Dean's eyes glanced from the road to you and your heart clenched tight. "Yeah, says the one who ended it.." There it was again, that same noise he always made he got annoyed. "I had a reason."  
"You didn't want me anymore."  
"That is /not/ true. You know why I had to call it off."  
You hands flew up in a shrugging motion and you shook your head. "Apparently I don't, Dean!" Your voice rose and his followed. "Don't start talking to me like that, I'm tryin' to do you a favor!"  
Your body began to heat up and you turned I your seat to face him. "Don't act like you're all good and nice now, You dropped me and acted like nothing even happened!"  
He looked at you with an angered and broken expression. "I tried okay!? I tried, I tried to make it work! You got hurt on that hunt and I couldn't risk it anymore, I could not risk that!"  
"Ohhhhh, Okay, so that's the excuse.."  
His head continuously turned from the road to you, trying to equally focus on both. "Excuse? It's not- I didn't want this, Hannah, I just couldn't let you get hurt!"  
Tears pricked your eyes and you slammed your hand down against the dashboard. "I /AM/ hurt, Dean!"  
"You know what I meant.."  
"You know what, If it's hunts I would have been perfectly fine, I just slipped up once. You get hurt all the time!"  
"It's different, Y/N."  
The car came to a stop at the crossing at you reached for the handle. "I need out. Take my car home. Get a cab or an Uber or- whatever, I'm getting home some way else." You said, pushing the door open.   
"Get back in the car." He groaned but was only met with the sound of the door slamming in his face. You wrapped your arms around yourself and walked down the sidewalk, not daring to look back at the car. You knew the neighborhood well and from where you were you were sure you could make it to the gas station, easy.  
His eyes followed you and he clenched his jaw, looking up the light light as it changed to green. He turned and headed off towards your house, looking at you in the rearview. "Son of a bitch.." 

Like you thought, getting to the gas station was no problem. You made it there quickly and safely, like you had hoped. You waved to the man behind the counter and walked to the back, to the bathroom, to clean up.  
You washed your hands and patted your hair and face dry with the paper towels. "I shouldn't have done that.." You whispered to yourself as you leaned against the door, pushing it open. The gas station was one of the "bigger" ones, which excited you because you were hungry. You combed through the isles looking for treats to calm you down. While on your search you heard the man turn the volume up on the tv, it sounded like the news. You gave it a quick look and ended up giving a double take. Your heart fell into your stomach and you dropped the chips on the floor, scattering and stumbling to the counter to see the tv better. "That's my car.. That's my- Dean.." The car was totaled; completely smashed in on the driver's side. The front was an absolutely wreck too. You nearly vomited upon seeing it. 'I have to get to the hospital'  
You mind took off before your feet did and you stood there scrambling for a moment before making it out of the building. The search for a ride took longer than the actual trip to the hospital. You managed to send Sam at quick text before your hands completely gave up on you and prevented you from typing. Once your kind driver pulled up to the entrance of the hospital you thanked them and ran in as quickly as you could, your heart in your throat. Your hand slid into your pocket and fumbled with your phone before pulling up a photo of him and shoving it in the woman as the front desk's face. "Him, Uh..I'm" you cleared your throat and tried to steady your shaking hands. "Dean Winchester. His name is Dean Winchester and he was, uh, he was just in a car accident-"   
"I'm sorry, She's with us." You looked behind you to see Sam who was holding your shoulders rather tightly. She gave a nod and looked back to her computer as he pulled you back to the waiting area where Cas was seated. "What have you heard."   
"Not much."  
You took shaky breaths as you sat on the verge of tears. "Sam, it's my fault, it's my fault, I got out of the car. I told him to go-"  
Sam's hand brushed the hair from your face as he shushed you, looking down at you with comforting eyes, but you could tell he was shaken and scared too. "Don't, okay? Don't blame yourself, you didn't hit him." His hazel eyes looked back into your blue ones, begging you to keep it together. Probably so he could too. You wanted to break down right there, fall apart on the floor in front of everyone. But he needed you to hold it together so he could too. "O-Okay, I can do that.." You whimpered, running your hands up and down your legs; your breathing un even and broken. Slowly and very unsurely you leaned into Sam's form. Shocked, he looked down to you and wrapped his arm around your body with a sigh as his thumb rubbed your arm. Each time you blinked things began to unfocus more and more until finally your eyes weren't opening. Anymore. When they did, it was to the voice of the same woman from the front desk speaking to Sam.   
You couldn't make out her words, it all sounded like nonsense. Sam stood and brought you up with him, shaking you lightly as he turned his head to you. "Hey, we can see him now. Wake up, Y/N."   
Your heart felt like it wasn't even beating. You were afraid to see him. Would he be awake? Would he remember what happened? Would he hate you..? Sam basically carried you there, you feet dragged against the tile the entire time. She you reached the door you were surprised to see sam stop. "Go." He said, tucking his arms against his chest. "He'll want to see you, First." You felt bad for taking it, but you just nodded and patted his arm then gave it a squeeze. You stepped in the room and the first thing you saw was his face. The smooth skin you had seen earlier in the night was cut up and bruised, and seemingly tear stained. You felt like you had been shot through the heart. It was almost as if your body had frozen. You couldn't move. "..Dean?" Your voice was a shaking whisper, almost like wind gliding around the tree outside. Your feet began to move now, slowly. Each step made you feel like you would fall flat on your face. Upon reaching his bedside, you anxiously reached for his hand. You expected the usual warmth that you always felt when you held that familiar and comforting hand, but instead it felt cold. It was much larger than yours in comparison, and made you feel small. You have it a squeeze and reached up with your other hand to stroke his scruff. "Dean.." His eyes opened and squinted at the blinding light of the hospital room. Finally, your heart had a beat again. "Thank god."   
Dean's head turned and he looked at you for a moment. His breathing was rough and it made you nervous each time he took a breath. "I'm glad you got out of the car.." He started, chuckling a little. That caused a pain in his chest that made him cough. "Hey, Don't..Just calm down, okay.."   
You squeezed his hand and took a deep breath as a tear slid from your eye and down your cheek.   
"Dean, I'm so sorry." Your throat began to close, tears were pricking your eyes and jumping over the edge. The wet the sheets and his arm reached up to wipe them away, but you quickly stopped him. "It's okay, just..Don't move a lot, okay. You need to relax."   
"Can you do something for me.." He asked, looking up to you with broken emerald eyes.  
"Of course."  
"Sing with me."  
Your brows knit together and you turned your head. "Sing?"  
He nodded and pointed to the chair behind you. "Come on, Sing with me."  
You reached back and pulled the chair to the bed and sat down beside him. "Okay, Well..What are we singing?"  
He cleared his throat and started humming. You knew the song right away, he sang it all the time. Simple Man.  
"Mama told me when I was young.  
'Come sit beside me, my only son."  
You hounded in now, your voice breaking like glass  
"And listen closely to what I say.  
And if you do this it'll help you some sunny day."  
His deep voice seemed weaker as he hummed out the song and your heart was ripping in two.  
"Oh, take your time, don't live too fast.  
Troubles will come and they will pass."  
He pointed to you and have a softer version of his typical cheerful smirk now"  
You'll find a woman and you'll find love" his voice started to give out and your body shook out your cry.  
"And don't forget, son, there is someone up above"  
He sung, pointing up as before his hand fell. He looked at you as his lips quivered out three last words and the monitor's beeping changed. You chest tightened and your eyes flooded with tears. Sam's looked in the door and called out for someone down the hall before running in to his brother's side. He grabbed his hand and tears slid down his cheeks. "Dean!" He shook his hand and looked at him with lost puppy dog eyes, squeaking out 'please' before his head rested on his brother's arm. Your eyes unfocused your face fell into your hands, his words booming in your head.  
'I love you'


End file.
